If you’ve ever stared out into the open abyss of the night sky, you will probably understand the mystery and complexity of a woman like Jasmine Waltz. She is an actress, a model, a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother (UK), and a potential spokeswoman for the improvement of men everywhere.
We were down for some good womanly advice from a sexy starlet like Jasmine, except we received the bonus package. This involving an eclectic mix of chatting about Vegas, toothpaste, Macklemore, slipped discs, Jessica Cribbon, and why you’re probably not as good of a man as you think you are. And to think, it all started with one simple and innocent question…
Urbasm: Hi Jasmine, how are you doing?
Jasmine Waltz: You’re going to hate me right now, but I am brushing my teeth. Hold on one second.
JW: Okay okay, I just had to get the taste out of my mouth (laughs). Sorry.
Urbasm: We’re not disturbing you at something are we?
JW: No, it is totally fine, I just got home from Vegas. I just walked through the door. And because they threw my toothpaste away because it was over fucking two-point, whatever ounces. I was like, that’s my toothpaste, what are you going to do with toothpaste. And I was being lazy and didn’t want to get new toothpaste, and I didn’t brush my teeth the whole time I was in Vegas.
Urbasm: Oh, don’t tell us that.
JW: (laughs) But you have to brush your teeth, right?
JW: Anyway, hi, nice to meet you.
Urbasm: Hello. So what were you doing in Vegas?
JW: You know Macklemore? He had an event I hosted for him. I brought fun people there; they flew me out last night and I just got back and it was fun. I am really hung over if you want to be honest.
Urbasm: (laughs) What else do you have in store for us this year?
JW: Who the hell knows. That is like saying, ‘I am going to plant this flower, how big will it bloom?’ Who the fuck knows. Hopefully it is going to be the most beautiful flower in the world. Hopefully I won’t be sitting at home taking my pants off and rubbing a band-aid and terrified to take it off. I literally fell trying to take a selfie. They tried to rush me to the hospital and I said no, and went to the club instead.
Urbasm: That’s dedication.
JW: I am terrified to take the band-aid off because of how bad it was.
Urbasm: What happened?
JW: What happened was is that we were at a restaurant before we even got to the club, and there was a big bench in the background, and Jessica (Cribbon) was playing ‘Salt’ and I was ‘Pepa’. She was wearing all white and I was wearing all black. We were joking around saying that we were Salt-N-Pepa, so we were going to jump behind the booth and take a photo. So I jumped back there first and my leg gets stuck. And I go, I’m letting you guys know that I am fucked. It is bad. They all run over, look at my leg and say, ‘Oh my God.’ Not only is it skinned on my shin, but I’m wedged between an unmovable booth and this piece of wood. Five grown men had to push down to get my leg out. And when I slid my leg out, I had to do it the same way it went in, so all the blood and ick came running out.
JW: And every guy in that room couldn’t even look. They were like getting sick. It was so brutal. And then we took a bar napkin and wrapped it up, and I went straight into the club and watched Mackelmore. And I am home right now and looking at it. I have not taken the band-aid off, but I am afraid of what’s going to happen when I do take it off. Imagine your leg. Now imagine more skin than your lips falling off your shin; it was literally dangling with blood. I was like, But let’s party! And they were like, ‘This is why we pay you this much money, because you’re so awesome.’ Now tell me about your past 24 hours?
Urbasm: It has been boring compared to that. And you grew up in Vegas didn’t you?
JW: I was born in Vegas, but I don’t know if I really grew up there. I had a really really rough childhood. It was very dark. A lot of negative horrible shit happened. I don’t have a mom or dad. My dad committed suicide when I was about three. A lot of awful things happened. I ended up in group and shelter homes. There was nobody to take care of me. But I don’t know anybody else with my attitude and positive outlook, which makes me proud of all the accomplishments I’ve made. I don’t have anyone to fall back on. I’ve never had anyone pay my bills—or nothing. I do it all on my own, and it took a lot—I’ve been through a lot. I think that is a very important thing about me.
Urbasm: That is what has made you who you are today.
JW: Yeah, you spend a lot of time alone and find a lot of ways to entertain yourself (laughs). Everyone is given their card; Nobody picks. And for many years I was like, Poor me; Why me? But once I was able to shed that light and says we’re all born happy and I am going to live my life and be happy as fuck. I am going to entertain people and I am going to be fun. I wish everyone could live this way.
Urbasm: Was the television show Big Brother a fun or difficult experience for you?
JW: I would have to say both. One thing that nobody really knows is that I had a slipped disc while I was on there; my L4. So, the entire time I was in there my whole leg was numb. I had fallen during a task, and I was like, I can’t feel my leg; it is so weird. So a lot of the things that I wanted to experience; they made it all about a relationship with a boy, and it really wasn’t like that. I was in pain and crying the entire time. It was a fucking nightmare.
Urbasm: Oh no!
JW: Yeah, and I look back on it now and still think it was a great experience—it was fun, but I just wish I could redo it. I got hurt and they had to find ways to still make me interesting, but get me out of there ASAP. That kind of sucked for me, but I still got a lot of fans out of it.
Urbasm: You need to do one of those shows here in the US?
JW: I don’t know why they don’t do a Celebrity Big Brother here. That makes no sense to me. It would do so well. Don’t you think?
JW: I think so too. I think it would be great.
Urbasm: Well, there you go; you’ve got to do it. It’s got to be you.
JW: (laughs) That is a great idea for sure. I want to stick myself in there again so badly. Especially now I know what to do.
Urbasm: What would you do differently?
JW: I never watched a single episode, and everyone else that goes studies that show. It is essentially a game. I went in going, Fuck it, let’s go make lots of money and go to London and be on a TV show. I just didn’t give a shit. Like me or not; I just didn’t care. I would have created and caused more drama within the house. They would talk shit about me, but I didn’t get a chance to rebuttal, because I had no idea what was going on.
Urbasm: That is the key; to strategize. How did you end up getting that role?
JW: A friend of mine had gone on that show years ago. She and the producer were all in LA, and I randomly had dinner with them. And I guess they left the dinner saying, ‘We want her on our show.’
Urbasm: That’s a great first impression.
JW: And they were like, ‘She is celebrity enough; we don’t give a shit because she is fucking perfect.’ I had no idea what they were saying, and all of a sudden I got a phone call asking if I could pack my bags and come to the UK in 30 days. And I was like, You’re paying me how much? Let’s go! And that was it. Not to blow smoke up my own ass, but that’s how it happened.
Urbasm: It was meant to be.
JW: Yeah, I guess so.
Urbasm: Are you up to offering some dating advice for us guys?
JW: (silence) In what aspect?
Urbasm: Well, we think that women can help us become better men.
JW: Except for this one.
Urbasm: (laughs) Come on.
JW: I haven’t been in a relationship in almost two and a half years. And the reason is because men can be idiots. I do want to fall in love. I do want to be in a family. I do want a family. Obviously, not having one is a big deal to me. I find the biggest thing wrong with men is that… (silence). I feel like there is advice for the men who actually want to be in a relationship and want a girlfriend. And there is advice for men that don’t give a shit and don’t want one. Your asking for the men that do, is that correct?
Urbasm: That is what was on our mind.
JW: Okay, I think men seek a woman that has everything they want, and I find very often that these men get fixated on just one person. They say they love this girl, she is perfect. Then it doesn’t work out and they are not able to move on. That is enough to go, ‘That didn’t work, and it is not my fault. It is nothing I need to work on.’ It is a confidence thing when you say, ‘This is what I have to offer. I work here. This is my house; This is my dog, fucking take it or leave it.’ Not, ‘Will you love me because you’re what I want?’ I think that once people are able to get in their own skin and say, ‘This is where I am in my life—I like you because you are you ,and not because you fit into these credentials or mold.’
JW: I feel like so many men are like, ‘You’re hot; you have great tits, and they don’t look at any long term potential. They look for all of the surface things. What their friends are going to think are hot? How can I brag about her in this way? We are so accustomed to talk about why this person looks good on your arm. They shouldn’t be on your arm until you truly have them under your skin and know why you love them. Stop seeking approval from everyone else. Find your own views, love that person for them, and if it works out—great. If it doesn’t, it shouldn’t be because of someone else’s opinion. What do you think of that?
Urbasm: That’s all true.
JW: I think that is the biggest problem between both men and women. Men are suppose to be the controllers, and women still do want to be captured. But guys are seeking the wrong approval and not really caring about what they want. It is about what society, family and friends want. Shut up and love!
Urbasm: (laughs) We think you’re on the right track.
JW: Well, as long as you agree a little bit that means I touched a nerve where you go, ‘Fuck, I think that is a good point.’
Urbasm: You just covered three of our questions right there.
JW: (Laughs) That’s great.
Urbasm: And now for the most important question. What do you think are the three things that every guy should know?
JW: Men should know that… fuck. That is a big question. (silence) They should know it is okay to be loved; it is okay to let your guard down. It is not feminine to be vulnerable. You’re still human; don’t be afraid to be loved. It doesn’t make you less of a man to open up and say, ‘I want this’ or ‘I love you.’ I think men should also know that it is also okay to be taken care of. Women are care-takers. Let us do that. Let us play the role of the things we want to do. Whatever we want, find out what that is, and what makes us happy; and let us do it. Let us play our role.
JW: I think number three in the number one… to listen. Really hear what women say, because we are different from men. Listen to the difference of how we speak. Like, you’ve listened to me for the past thirty-four minutes and thirty-nine seconds. You have probably spoken and laughed for only forty-four seconds. You have grasped the concept of listening.
Urbasm: Really? Great.
JW: But this is an interview. Men need to listen and pay attention in their relationships. And we also want to be teased. I like when guys know something but they don’t let me know they know it. Tease me. Let me run with it, even though you already know what I am going to say. Don’t let women know that you know everything.
Urbasm: I think you gave us a bonus tip in all that.
JW: If you write a book on everything I just said, I am going to sue you.
JW: (laughs) And that is me thinking that I am a genius when I am actually not.
Urbasm: Thank you Jasmine. This has been fantastic.
JW: Good, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Urbasm: We did. And please take care of your leg. That sounds pretty bad.
JW: I know; it is bad. It was nice to meet you.
Our thanks goes out to Ray Jimenez of Embolden Entertainment for making this interview possible.