How to Become a Better Man


Women are attracted to successful men who are riding the waves of success. They crash down on her shore, and proceed to take her on a whimsical journey of mystery, learning, and great sex. This is great, unless you happen to be one of the guys wading in the kiddie pool with floaters around his arms. These are the guys who lack purpose, confidence, and charisma. If you are having a difficult time establishing game in your dating relationships, check out these seven tips to help regain your ‘manimal’ magnetism!

Know Who You Are

Rabi Shmuley Boteach offered us some memorable advice, which basically came down to one thing: Know who you are. A man without understanding of who he is, identifies himself by his profession. Having only his work to give him purpose, drives him to become a workaholic. This is a problem because if you allow yourself to expend so much energy at work, that you have nothing left to give your woman, this will leave her looking elsewhere for that attention (more below on that). Instead, look within yourself, and ask what you have to offer her. Show her a man that she can count on, and she won’t be showing you the door.

Take Interest in Your Woman

A man’s worth (in his own opinion) is calculated by three simple, but often difficult to attain life goals: his relevance, purpose, and impact. From the time a man is born, he is told that he must be good at sports, academics, and his job. When a man frees himself from this self-focus, he can concentrate on what a woman needs. Despite what your common sense is telling you, women receive little pleasure from your own value and success, other than the bragging rights, which wears off quickly. It is more productive to be the driving force behind your woman’s happiness, which is easily accomplished by simply: listening, encouraging, and inspiring.

Listen, Understand, and Repeat

Some men lead, others follow, and a good portion walk alone. Men spend a lot of time combating loneliness, isolation, and rejection. Many men are unable to access their most sensitive portions of their heart without a woman’s guidance. There is a feminine dimension to every man (and this is one of your best sides in many ways), but to discover it, you must understand how women communicate. She doesn’t want to hear your advice; she only wants to know that you understand, and empathize with her situation. The key to a successful relationship is quite simply to listen, understand, and repeat!

Nix Your Bad Habits

A man needs to focus on the good things in his relationships to understand their value. He creates distance and disappointment if he chooses to brood over unimportant details, such as past misunderstandings, current conflicts, and uncommon interests. Sometimes the best way to protect what he should be most thankful for, a man must look for his own worst habits. Criticizing, lying, threatening, and bribing will destroy the trust, intimacy, and security of any relationship (both intimate and friendship). It doesn’t take much effort to be a better man if you’re honest with yourself about who you are and what you (and other people) need.

KISS Her, You Fool

The one thing that almost any man could never do wrong, is a true, heartfelt kiss. A kiss can end arguments, increase understanding, promote better communication, and will leave your partner itching for other physical activities (hint–hint). A quarter of all men in United States claim they are dissatisfied with the amount of sex they are getting from their partner, but rather than complaining about their lack of it, they should be focusing on its most potent prelude, otherwise known as… the kiss!

Watch Your Apple Tree

Research suggests that the majority of women who cheat, do so because they feel like their man is cheating. Mind you, this does not always mean that she is claiming you are a playboy/womanizer. This may not make a lot of sense at first read, but allow us to put it another way. In a woman’s mind, cheating on your relationship with her can take many forms, including working too much, not spending enough time with her, or not satisfying her needs (intimacy, communication, sex, etc.). You should never let bad feelings linger in any worthwhile relationship. And to accomplish this task you simply: ask what’s wrong, and what you can do to make it better.

Disagree with Finesse

There is an etiquette to arguing, which includes starting and ending each disagreement on a positive note. In addition, you should use the word “I,” instead of “you” (as in, I don’t like when you nag me about the things I need to do, in contrast to, You are a heartless bitch). Focus on listening to your partner, and understanding what she needs, rather than winning the argument. Because quite frankly, there is no winner to any argument of the heart. The only way to come out ahead is to compromise, and this surmounts to you giving a little, and then giving her the stage to give in return, and you then continue this back and forth until the problem diminishes itself.

About Dr. Eric J. Leech

Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.



About Dr. Eric J. Leech

Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.

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