If you play the dating game long enough, chances are you’ll either find yourself with blurred vision, poor taste, or a moment of poor judgment. You drink too much, bring a date home, and low and behold the morning comes around, and you find yourself with a new pet that won’t go away. If you’re like most victims, you’ll probably think that lying about your health, avoiding phone calls, changing dating websites, and/or moving to a different city or state will do the trick. However, while these may be a simple and politically incorrect means to end an unwanted dating relationship, you aren’t sparing anybody from the pain of rejection, only prolonging it. Instead, get rid of a one night stand like a man.
Play the Game
You do not want your new found friend running around telling people about your relationship, so the first thing to do is establish the pants in the relationship. On your way to establishing dominance, you must create distance. Don’t let her talk you into meeting her too soon after the fact. Sex initiates feelings of love and intimacy by the release of chemicals in the brain, so it may take a couple of days to shake this spell. By controlling the time and place of the meeting, you are in effect placing the ball within your court. Choose a meeting place that’s several miles from your home. You certainly don’t need a second night stand to go along with the first. If she questions the solitude of the destination, sell it as an adventure.
Setting up a face to face meeting is important, as occasionally the first impression of a one night stand maybe obscured by your own prejudice. You may think she is a one-nighter, when in fact, she could be someone you’d want to spend some time getting to know. Research shows that you can’t always rely on a dating first impression, and you certainly can’t rely on a gut feeling from a drunken one night encounter. Give her a chance. However, if it doesn’t look hopeful, drop your cards and move onto the next step.
When you finally meet in person, remember that this is no time to be opening up to each other about feelings or past relationships. You are here for business, and you want to keep it that way. If she begins to get too personal, change the subject. Do not let her pull you into her life too deep just yet. You are there to decide if you’d like to get to know her better or continue on your separate ways. Once you’ve made your mind to abort, don’t change your mind due to pity or guilt. You cannot give her any glimmer of hope if you have no intention of pursuing a relationship. The answer to just about everything she requests is no.
Anything could happen once you make the decision to walk, so be prepared for begging, tears, and rejection stories. Whatever she does, hold strong with your decision. You must be an emotional rock through this encounter. Don’t be too sympathetic, as this will only give her mixed signals. Once the dust settles, and your truth bomb successfully demolishes any hope she had of establishing a relationship, you might be surprised how gracefully she lets go. However, don’t count on this as any indication that you will not hear from her again. Finally, let her know you have an engagement to get to, finish up any loose ends, say goodbye, and be on your way.
As the weeks go by, you may hear from her again, and it would be wise to ignore such attempts to reconnect. In the case where a woman is refusing to take the hint, the worst thing you can do is offer her more attention. In many cases, she is subconsciously ignoring the signs of rejection in hopes of a change of heart, so all forms of casual chitchat (including chatting on websites) will only be encouraging. Tell her once and for all that you do not wish to see or hear from her. In extreme situations, you may need to subscribe to a different dating website or change your online identity.
The casual one night stand is a beautiful moment in a man’s life. However, the aftermath is not always so beautiful. Be prepared–and learn to ditch a woman with strength, confidence, and class.
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