How would you like a professionally microbrewery that has the capability of supplying 14-gallons of premium brew to your dorm or block party? Introducing the Professional Microbrewery by Hammacher Schlemmer. This is not your typical home brewing kit. There is no skill, difficult instructions, or major screw ups. However, you also won’t have a heck of a lot of room leftover wherever you choose to stash this beast. It comes with its own Heat Exchange Recycling Mash (HERM), a 15-gallon tank hot liquor tank, 20-gallon boil kettle, 14-gallon freestanding fermentation tank, and automated touch screen computer.
Here’s how it works:
You sort through the recipes, including variations of lager, Hefe-weizen, and stout. You pick something you like, add the ingredients, and begin the program. The heat exchange recycling mash system raises the strike/sparging water to the ideal brewing temperature, and automatically circulates it to the lauter tun, which then extracts sugar from the mash. The leftover liquid is then pumped to the boil kettle, where it is converted to its final wort. Everything is monitored through a sophisticated system of sensors, gauges, and temperature detectors, which provide reliable information back to the computer. Once the computer senses the mash is ready, it will instruct you to to pitch in some hops. Next, the wort is cooled, and pumped to the stainless steel fermentation tank, where you will be instructed to add the yeast to the mix, and patiently wait for the magic to happen.
The only thing this brewmaster won’t do, is drink a pint with you. However, we doubt you’ll have much trouble finding a buddy for that. The entire system will set you back around $45,000, and no, it is not tax deductible. If you’re too much of a cheap ass to do it up like Richard Branson, you could always invest a few bucks in a Mr. Beer Premium Gold Edition Beer Kit.