The relationship experts say that between Thanksgiving and New Years more women dump their guy than at any other time of the year. It could have something to do with the stress of the holiday, the frigid chill in the air, or perhaps because your grandma’s fruitcake tastes like sh@$.
Regardless of the cause, Urbasm is here to give you some much-needed tips on how NOT to go about getting her back.
The Drunken Contact
To begin with, there should be no drunk e-mails, text messages, or late-night booty calls at her doorstep. There is another word for this, and some police officers prefer to call it “stalking.”
Many devastated dumpees may not even realize they are doing it, but when someone tells you, they don’t want to see you anymore, and yet you ignore her request; this could be construed as a little creepy. Give her a “white bear” instead…
Alternative: The “White Bear”
In psychology, the white bear effect states that anything we choose to put out of our mind, becomes the object of our infatuation. This can be used to your advantage during a breakup (especially if your lover still has feelings for you). By ducking out of her life for a while, you give her a chance to reevaluate the good times, and it just may open a crack in her door that will be just wide enough for you to squeeze through in a week or two.
There is enough evidence out there to suggest that when a guy cries, pouts, or throws a tantrum on the floor, the dumper may reevaluate her decision and take you back out of pity (or embarrassment). The important thing to note here, is there is a cost to this, including losing any strength or respect you had in the relationship. In other words, don’t do it!
Beware of the Friend Zone
Many exes choose to keep you close by, even after telling you she never wants to sleep with you again. This does not always have much to do with having a high rating on her get back together scale, and more to do with not wanting to lose you completely. Beware of these women who keep a stockpile of exes for a rainy day. You don’t want to be one of them!