Compact Car Sex!

*Warning: XXX Barbie action ahead!

Compact car sex is great! However, there are a few problems with it, including being too narrow in the cockpit, navigating around an unwelcome shifter, and having only enough head room for a decapitated torso (unless you own a convertible). What’s an anxious couple supposed to do? Well, you could lean the seats all the way back, hop in the backseat, try your luck on the roof, or take advantage of one of these four sex positions, which were designed with today’s compact car owner in mind.

Note: Most of these positions will be focused on the front seats, considering many compact car reports claim a roomy front cockpit, and rather cramped backseat. So, unless you are under 5′ 6″, you will probably achieve the most maneuverability seated in front.

Passenger Cowgirl

You are not going to get very far in the drivers seat with the steering wheel in your way. You could try to pull it back as far as it can go, but it probably won’t leave you enough room. The guy is going to need to be seated in the passenger seat with the seat back dropped as far back as it will go. Without the seat tilted back, she is going to have very little headroom, and will most likely get one hell of a crick in her neck.

Missing Missionary

With the woman seated in the passenger seat, slid it all the way back, and lean it back as far as it will go. The seat should practically be lying on the backseat cushion. Next, the woman may want to scoot herself up the seat to give her guy a little extra leg room. If necessary, she may need to remove a few more articles of clothing to position her neck comfortably. This is a great excuse to strip each other down. Once comfortable, the guy enters the passenger seat, resting his knees on the bottom cushion. The woman can arrange her legs comfortably on top of the dash or arm rest, and the rest is up to you!

Half a Spooning

This position begins with the woman draped comfortably over the passenger seat, face down. She can rest her chin on the headrest, and place her hands on the back seat cushion for extra support. The guy should position himself in much the same as the previous position, placing his knees on the bottom passenger seat. There are many other variations that can come from this base position, so don’t be afraid to exercise your creative choice.

Transmission Overhaul

When you’ve tried it front ways, sideways, and back ways, and you still can’t work something out; your next option is to position yourself in the center of the vehicle. The woman begins by seating herself in the middle of the back seat, positioning her hips as far forward as she can. Tilt the front seats forward, so she can rest her feet comfortably on the backs of the seats. The man climbs over the center console, placing his knees on the seat backs, and stretches himself forward. You’re not going to get out of this position quickly, so if a cop comes knocking, you might as well finish what you started!

Tip: A sparkling glove (as shown) may provide the best possible grip for these maneuvers, and you’ll look pretty cool too!

About Dr. Eric J. Leech

Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created, a site for every guy.

About Dr. Eric J. Leech

Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created, a site for every guy.