Guys, if you’ve ever wondered what was on us women’s minds before, during, and after sex. These are a few of the cold hard truths:
Before:
“Let’s just keep kissing–my old friend ‘Flow’ may have just got into town.”
“I hope he doesn’t stay, because I don’t have anything for breakfast.”
“Aren’t you going to turn off the light?”
“You didn’t even notice my underwear.”
“Let’s see if he notices the other thing I did down there… Yup, he noticed.”
“Dude, have you ever taken one of these off before?”
“Okay, he was a little too good with that. I wonder how many times he’s done this?”
I hope these skinny jeans did’t leave impressions on my thighs–yup ,they did.”
“It’s big!”
“Maybe it’s not done growing.”
During
“What are you doing?”
“Here, let me show you how to do it again.”
“Ouch!”
“Yeah, that’s the spot.”
“Don’t even think about trying that again, buddy.”
“Do you like that?”
“Oh yeah, he definitely likes that.”
“Did he just say what I think he said?”
“Can we get into rhythm please?”
“This position is not very flattering.”
After
“Already!?!”
“What was that face for?
“How was I?”
“What’s that smell? It’s not me is it?”
“Ew, don’t just throw that on the floor?”
“I really need to go to the gym more often.”
“Leaving so soon?”
“Hello? That’s your cue to get out.”
“Are we official now?”
“It’s my house—you get the wet spot.”
About Pamela Causfield
I'm a digital nomad and story teller that writes for Urbasm and a few other websites on men's interests, style, relationships and whatever tickles my fancy. In my spare time I like to play the field in search of my prince, travel, and consider myself an artisan of sarcasm at times.